Thursday, October 27, 2016

Discovering The BADASS Within Me

Experiencing life in my 20's has definitely been the opposite of what I imagined as a young girl. For some reason, I had this picture perfect idea of all of the things that I should have accomplished by now... and needless to say I'm far behind. Where is my six figure job? Where is my loft in New York? Where is my true love? My fancy car?... and so on. I just knew that if I played the rules of life correctly, like graduate from college and stay out of trouble, my worldly material possessions would be awarded to me. Well my bubble of dreams got popped real fast as soon as I graduated college and turned 22. I literally felt like my goals were crumbling right in front of me. Things were happening beyond my control. Things called "life". I started to feel lonely, worthless, like a failure, and even depressed. I suffered silently in my Post College Graduate Depression (PCGD), because I didn't have the support I needed and I didn't want to look unaccomplished on social media in the midst of my colleagues raving about their offer letters. The little confident Demeshia slowly begin to let the ways of the world pull her beautiful spirit down and define who she was in society until today.

At the age of 25, I am just now understanding how to operate in the real world as a young adult. Instead of fighting the challenges that are thrown my way, I am more open to allowing these life lessons to be apart of my journey with the help of Jen Sincero's book, "You Are A Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life." Sometimes it takes reading a self-care book to reflect on your situation and teach you the tools to get through it. I remember when I first laid eyes on this book, I was working part-time at a boutique in Atlanta that sold clothes, cute stationary items, and gifts such as journals and books. This book wasn't even on display yet, it was in the back of the store in a box with the rest of our inventory. I walked past it a few times, read the title, and picked it up. I randomly flipped through the pages of the book and the first couple sentences caught my eyes and I knew I had to buy it that day. Although, financially I wasn't in a good place to spend money I didn't have, I felt in my spirit that this would be a mental investment to help me feel better about my current situation. If I wanted different results, then I must be the change that I want to see within myself right? I wanted to rediscover the badass inside of me, so that I can start living the awesome life that I have always desired as a little girl.

This week I started reading the first 2 chapters of the book (including the introduction).  My plan is not to rush through it, because I want to enjoy this experience and read it with a clear mind and an open heart. So far, I have learned a lot about myself, the way that I think, and how it affects the decisions I make in life. The language and tone of the book is authentic. I feel like I'm in a therapy session, laying on the couch seeking guidance. Sincero starts off the first chapter with breaking down the difference between our conscious and subconscious thoughts and understanding how to control our mind to release unhealthy thinking patters. In chapter 2, she transitions to the basic idea of Law Attraction while connecting to whoever/whatever you call your higher source of energy to innate power to create the reality you desire. Purchasing this book was one of the greatest decisions I could have done right now, because it took me to get out of my comfort zone to try something different to improve myself as a person. You know what? I think that's called maturity and I'm proud to say that I am ready to tackle this adult life like a badass!